Local legal eagle turns a blind eye towards the law!

A local esteemed legal eagle was recently quoted in the Paxton Daily as saying, essentially, that a recent reduction of a drunk driver's wanton murder sentence from 20 years to 8 by an outgoing gubner was wrong and it was an example of getting as much justice as you could afford - due to the fact that the defendant's attorney was a retired appeallate court judge and his daddy is a state law maker who got influential KY'ians to write letters on his behalf. So, why should you bristle like an SOS pad with psuedofiliculitis at such a statement? Well, I'll tell ye. That same legal eagle wrote a freaking letter on behalf of the defendant that the gubner cited as a reason why he reduced the sentence!

Whereas Paducah had been setting the record for most number of lawsuits filed in which an attorney sued himself for the 2007 calendear year - please see the county attorney suing the county he represents for doing something his office advised it to do and a shareholder of the local law school and tire center suing the law school and tire center for things he would be liable for as an owner - it has now taken the cake for most looney comment on a legal proceeding made while not under the influence of narcotics. This is a little known award that the American Bar Association keeps hush-hush and only gives out at the X-Mas drunkfest.

So, let's see, you write a letter asking for a reduction in a wanton murderer's sentence and then complain that the system under which you did it in is fucked and should be changed? If you feel strongly enough to vouch for a wanton murderer, why do you care how it has to be done? The interesting part - aside from the above-mentioned absurdity - is that this local legal eagle said he felt "pressured" to write the letter. Pressured? How do you pressure someone into writing a letter? You pressure people into blind dates, shots of Jagermeister and keeping that stray you don't want. You pressure people into buying shit for your kid's school (I know I'm always on the look out for as many magazine subscriptions, spirit cards and forms of chocolate that I can get my hands on!), taking that extra Barry Manilow ticket and taking credit for an errant fart that could cost you some ass. You can't pressure someone to "write" a letter on behalf of a wanton murderer. I mean, what, did the dad say, "If you don't write this letter, I'm going to tell people you wouldn't help out my son who got drunk and killed a woman and lied about it!" Pick up your fucking toys, wipe a booger on his shirt and run home.

It gets funnier. Same legal eagle was questioned on an apparently clear KY ethics opinion that says a judge can't use his position to comment or take a position on a pardon or petition for clemency unless the gubner requests it. Legal eagle says that he's only a senior status judge and doesn't have to comply with all the ethical standards a full time judge does. A senior status judge is a retired judge who still works for the state in different counties and capacities to help out when other judges are sick or have conflicts of interests. In exchange for this, the judge gets to up his retirement and make more ducketts.

Is there something called a senior status moment in KY legal ethics law? We let geezer judges be less ethical than normal judges because of their geezer status? Do geezer judges where bracelets on their wrists that remind them when to take their medications and what laws they still have to abide by?

Basically, the carpet burns the bag at this juncture: Legal Eagle helped out a cat he nude by writing a letter on behalf of his son asking the gubner to reduce the guy's sentence because he truly believed it was excessive. Gubner then actually reduced the sentence, all hell broke loose and Legal Eagle felt the need to defend his actions. When questioned on its legality, he chose to ignore that angle completely and attempt to create a new area of KY ethics law. If this stuff was any crazier, they'd have to put lithium in the water at the courthouse and pass out straightjackets to all those summonsed for jury duty. Pad up the court room walls and strap on the depends because - just like pissing yourself during shock therapy - this is nowhere near over.

Finally, this kid's dad is a fucking prick. He sees his son's prosecution as being more about him than his son's getting drunk, acting irresponsibly and killing someone. This jerk still says his son was railroaded because he was a lawmakers son, that the police screwed up and the judge ignored facts and the law. I mean, a week or so prior to his son's sentence being reduced, I told someone that I thought his dad would probably introduce legislation that allowed any full time student at his son's former college to get drunk and kill one egyptian graduate student during their 4 year career. The amazing thing is, the kid sent one letter to the gubner in which he ran with the "I was screwed" theory where he blamed everyone other than himself. Then, after his attorney realized how stupid the letter was, he wrote another one taking responsibility for the crime. Why in the hell the first letter didn't seal his fate I have no idea. As to the issue of being framed, why would the Murray police decide to frame the son of a state representative from some other part of the state that no one had even heard of? I mean, if a fewl around hear was going to be framed, they would be framed for injecting barbecue with steroids or HGH, spray painting the skatepark or smoking in public building, or something else more serious.

....I'm just sayin....

Let's work our ass off so it ain't no fun no more!

What is the gig with wimins and how they can take a run-o-the-mill swillfest and turn it into an excuse to clean and decorate the whole abode thereby infusing what should be a relaxing affair with enough stress to cause a fewl to think about snorting a valium? Anybody smellin' what I'm steppin' in? Allow me to fumigate my wisdom.

I was born about 32 years ago next week. In honor of that action, my wife and I decided to have some homies from around the way - as LL use to say back in the day - at the homestead for a little heavy whores do vers and cocktails. Simple enough premise eh? Butt, much like Socrates discussing bellybutton lint with Plato, it got all out of hand.

This seemingly simple theory of people coming over turned into cleaning the house, decorating the hoose and yard with X-Mas paraphernalia, buying candles and rearranging the previously displayed signs of X-Mas cheer into a more "crowd friendly" configuration. As I'm typing this I'm being subjected to some X-Mas music that sounds like an Ethel Murman wannabe with too much testiculation - if you know what I'm sayin' - belted it out. Apparently, there were several Noels but the first one was the one you wanted to hook up with. Or at least that's what I get from this old school jam.

Back to the matter at hand. Why must you take a simple thing and complicate it so much? My friends don't give a damn how high the wreath on the front window is! I've yet to have a friend come over and complain there wasn't enough X-Mas flair around the house. I've never heard a soul utter that they've ever seen a more substantial nut cracker collection.

Look, I'm all about the X-Mas factor because of my son. Childrens are the point of all this gear. Ain't none of us A-dults still thinkin' Jolly Ole St. Nick is greasin up and slidin' down the the chimney. That being said, don't force the Holiday Spirit down the throat of friends who just want to come over to drink enough to forget how they got there. That's all we're axin'. Don't turn McDonald's into Puck's. Don't make a 6 Dollar Burger an actual 6 dollar burger.

For the record, my mom does the same thing. She'll make you werk so freakin' hard to get things "ready" for a party that, by the time the party gets there, you're ready to go to bed. If you ever mention this fact to her, she acts like you're crazy. That is if she can stop werkin' long enough to hear you bitch.

Werd to Big Burd.

P.S. I love my wife. Could you tell she was approaching when I wrote those last lines? There's kind of a "I'd like to say more but I can't" vibe to that hole paragraph huh? Image.

I'm just sayin.......