If you weren't from hear you probably haven't heard about the goofy local bullshit that you hear about when you live hear. Oh yeah, I not only thought that, but I typed it.
What I mint to say was, thank you to Tommy O. Just when you thought the saga that is the - cue the hopefully non-copyrighted music in your head - Pain Management Law School fiasco jamboree had come to some kind of non-denominational wholesale foreclosure type settlement (all those words just sounded fun thrown together), the freaking interim dean, some sort of fractional dean and an indentured servant or something all resign in protest over Tommy O's running of the joint and his pacific lack of infusion of cash. Interestingly enough, since Dr. Manchikanti purchased the majority of the stock, no one has complained of a lack of Lortabs or chronic back pain. According to the letters of resignation however, creditors have been complaining of a lack of cash being flogged there way. Allegedly, the water to the library was even cutoff.
Tommy O's prescription for this recent round of turmoil was a news conference in which he announced that a cat named Putt from TX would be coming up in June to possibly take over if the students wanted him to. This guy was going to continue to putz around in TX until June because he's dean or owner or both of a law school down there and has obligations until then. Also, the name of the school was changed to the Alben W. Barkley School of Law on the theory that the law school hasn't brought enough embarrassment to the City of Paducah so far and it might was well try to take down it's most famous and successful politician by naming it after him. I mean I don't think the City Commission would have fell for Tommy O naming it the Land Grab and Local Government Incentive Based School of Law. I fucking swear, those guys that Tommy O sued in federal court for this school have gotten shirts that said, "The City of Paducah gave me a bunch of land for nothing, I started a law school, got sued in federal court and all I got was this shirt" as a part of the settlement.
Let's recap. You're school is in complete disarray and the people you brought in to class up the joint when you took over quit a mere month or so into your tenure. They say bad things about you in their letters of resignation and email them to all the students that have hung around. You then ride in on your white horse to introduce the savior that will, bear with you, show up in 3 months. You tell them that you'll be getting the money necessary to run the school very soon and its all just paperwork issues with the loan provider out of New York. You then change the name of the school.
I didn't see the footage of the press conference or any pictures but did Tommy O have an IV or any noticeable tubes coming from him while he talked? Was Dr. Stuffed Pasta standing near him or did he ever appear to have recently injected or gassed him before he said any of this shit? I'm asking because these are the types of statements that are similar to those that I have made under the influence of prescription medications and/or after being brained.
I have no idea who the Putt guy or what his qualifications are. All I know is that (A) he is in TX; (B) he can't come til June; (C) this ain't TX; and (D) March is two months prior to June. So is it going to just continue to be pure uncut legal hell out there until June? I mean is this guy like the Wyatt Earp of law schools or something? I get the impression that it is like that movie Lean On Me out there except for law schools.
How in hell do you sue someone in federal court, successfully win that lawsuit and then take over a fucking law school without already having the necessary funds in place to run it? That's like begging a woman for sex and then, when she says yes, deciding to masturbate. You can't buy a car without either having all the cash up front or having financing pre-approved. I just can't believe that if children really are our future there are no forms for pre-approving financing when purchasing or taking over a school. Is Whiteny Houston a liar? Crazy crack addict sure, but liar? You can buy a car for as little as a dollar a day on the Southside but Tommy O can't come up with the forms or the $$$ to run the law school he successfully sued for ownership over in federal court? Something just don't jive with the whole "we're getting the money it's just been a paperwork issue" story.
Next plan to save the day, change the name! Maybe no one will remember that the school has had all these problems and that my interim staff just resigned and the school will suddenly become an esteemed center of higher education if I name it after a local political big wig! Can't you just see Jon Lovitz' character that told all the lies on SNL and always said "Yeah, that's the ticket" coming up with this one. I'm not even going to sit hear and say that I don't think the American Justice School of Law wasn't cheesier than hell, but I think I'd be focusing on a little more important things like paying the goddamn bills, making sure I had students to attend my school and getting accredited before I got all hung up in trying to latch onto to some fake sense of credibility by humping the leg of the ghost of a local legend.
And now for something seemingly completely different yet somewhat related.....the Big E still ain't fer sale because Mr. Singh ain't losin' enough money to make him sell! What? Mr. Singh and another Mr. Singh - who may or may know each other - gave an interview to a reporter for the Republican Sun Always Rises this week in which they essentially stated that were happy with owning the Big E. They knew the property was worth a lot of cash and that they had no interest in selling UNLESS the price was right. Well come on down City Commission.....
Singh has probably put some cash into restoring the vintage 70's porno deco style theme of the hotel but you can find most of that stuff for cheap on pornbay. And, as I've stated on numerous occassions before, who cares if he does or does not fix up that lego lookin' monstrosity? Sure it would be better for the City and everyone if he did, but, you know what, he owns it and can do whatever the hell he wants with it. I don't see anyone bitching at whoever owns that building downtown that looks like a three year old plastered it with tiles from a gay man's Scrabble game. The tile looking things are pastel colors and there is no business open in the building. There are all kinds of other buildings that look like hell downtown that have problems but the Shitty Commission isn't on the backs of those owners.
So who is the Big E valuable to? No one except the City of Paducah, quilters and the yearly influx of psychic fair attendees. Of course, they knew that before I even wrote it. Or did they know I wrote this before I ever knew that? Anyway...the hotel itself is not what is valuable, it's the land. Singh has them by the moutain oysters. I bet he got the idea to buy the joint by hearing about how riled up the Commission got when one of its own task forces recommended tearing the thing down. You remember that years ago? Turkey Neck and the Then Shitty Commission paid dough to some guy to study what to do with downtown and he suggested tearing down the joint to build a new hotel. When he suggested that at a meeting, Turkey Neck got all offended. Now, however many years later, that is what the City wants to do. I'll bet dinars to doughnuts that Singh saw that somehow and that's how he got involved. How else would he end up in Paducah?
In either event, the City will try to condemn the property, litigation will insue or they will pay him major duckets for it. In any event, Mr. Singh is going to get his $$$ for the biggest shitty hotel in America. Smart guy. Seems like he and Tommy O share the same theories on running a joint don't they? Maybe they could move the law school to the Big E. Each student could have their own personal classroom. It'd be the only law school in the country with a bar and all you could eat weekend Prime Rib Buffet. I like it.
....I'm just sayin.....
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
It Ain't So Easy Bein' The Big E and Sleazy
The City of Paducah is "oncet" - Paducah werd - again considering buying the Big Sleazy E because Budipher Singh, the new owner, refuses to cooperate with City, put any cash into the hotel, perform any renovations as promised, promote the convention center or provide the City with financial information.
Everybody's favorite stereotypical Indian gent has certainly made bigger fewls outta our local city government than the former owners of what I use to refer to as the American Eagle School of Law and Tire Center but have now more pleasantly began jingling to as the Pain Management Law School of Paducah and Marion. By the way, could the Indian guy look more like something out of a Looney Toones episode or what? I mean does the towel on his head actually have a ruby in it or am I making that part up because I'm damn sure there are belly dancers and magic carpets in the back ground of every picture if you look closely? The curly cues on the ends of the handlebars of his mustache couldn't be more choice if they were the toes of jester shoes.
Eitherway, as I was saying, those cats that ran the Law Barn and Tractor Depot managed to somehow shuck and jive their way into all that land, buildings and $150,000.00 in salaries per year without actually putting up their own money. If you thought that was more magical than that pill that will make both your weenie stiff AND give you the ability to throw a football through a tire, wait till you hear what Mr. Singh did. He bought a hotel that was sleazy, run down, allowed it to remain sleazy and get even more run down AND he makes our tired ass little city pay him a little stipend every month because his sleazy joint is connected to our city's convention center. I mean god fucking knows our City couldn't do without that square metal building in that strategic location with shitty parking on the wrong side of the floodwall. I can see why they pay him to a monthly fee, especially when you consider the outside entrance is adjancent to the classy neon sign of The Silver Saddle. As a further aside, do you think Dr. Kelley, psychiatrist, moved his office down there as sort of test to see how fucking crazy you are? Meaning if you made an appointment and actually showed up down there you are nuts and you need his help? I would have to think that's what he's getting at because, from what I understand, trolls, for the most part, don't have a lot of psychiatric problems or insurance.
To get back on point, the City pays his cheap ass like $20K a month. He probably steams the stamp off the envelope the check comes in, washes off the postmark and reuses it. They have no control over what he does with the money. They can't make him spend it on improvements or marketing the convention center. Not that there are going to be a lot of conventions that are going to want to come to a joint that is decorated like a 70's porno set. I mean maybe you could book like 70's porno star reunions there or something but I doubt that is going to be a very big market. Well, I guess the "size" of the market is going to depend on who shows up. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
What this fewl did is swoop in and buy the biggest cheap hotel in America for the simple fact of running it into the dirt because he knew Turkey Neck, a/k/a Mayor Gobbler, and The Shitty Commission would bow up and eventually step in, fall for his lack of improvements and buy the joint from him at a profit.
I'm not saying that someone doesn't need to wrangle the Sleazy E away from Sanjay Snuggle (because his towel looks so soft) but I just don't think our peeps in charge need to be the ones in charge of doing it because they've shown a great ineptitude at figgerin' out how to figger out this problem. In the werds of my wife, are you with me? I'm not sayin' we need to call in the Lone Ranger, George Washington or General Custer - well maybe that last one wasn't such a good example - but we need someone other than the peoples we've got or we'll end up getting curry in our cornhole again!
...I'm just sayin.....
Everybody's favorite stereotypical Indian gent has certainly made bigger fewls outta our local city government than the former owners of what I use to refer to as the American Eagle School of Law and Tire Center but have now more pleasantly began jingling to as the Pain Management Law School of Paducah and Marion. By the way, could the Indian guy look more like something out of a Looney Toones episode or what? I mean does the towel on his head actually have a ruby in it or am I making that part up because I'm damn sure there are belly dancers and magic carpets in the back ground of every picture if you look closely? The curly cues on the ends of the handlebars of his mustache couldn't be more choice if they were the toes of jester shoes.
Eitherway, as I was saying, those cats that ran the Law Barn and Tractor Depot managed to somehow shuck and jive their way into all that land, buildings and $150,000.00 in salaries per year without actually putting up their own money. If you thought that was more magical than that pill that will make both your weenie stiff AND give you the ability to throw a football through a tire, wait till you hear what Mr. Singh did. He bought a hotel that was sleazy, run down, allowed it to remain sleazy and get even more run down AND he makes our tired ass little city pay him a little stipend every month because his sleazy joint is connected to our city's convention center. I mean god fucking knows our City couldn't do without that square metal building in that strategic location with shitty parking on the wrong side of the floodwall. I can see why they pay him to a monthly fee, especially when you consider the outside entrance is adjancent to the classy neon sign of The Silver Saddle. As a further aside, do you think Dr. Kelley, psychiatrist, moved his office down there as sort of test to see how fucking crazy you are? Meaning if you made an appointment and actually showed up down there you are nuts and you need his help? I would have to think that's what he's getting at because, from what I understand, trolls, for the most part, don't have a lot of psychiatric problems or insurance.
To get back on point, the City pays his cheap ass like $20K a month. He probably steams the stamp off the envelope the check comes in, washes off the postmark and reuses it. They have no control over what he does with the money. They can't make him spend it on improvements or marketing the convention center. Not that there are going to be a lot of conventions that are going to want to come to a joint that is decorated like a 70's porno set. I mean maybe you could book like 70's porno star reunions there or something but I doubt that is going to be a very big market. Well, I guess the "size" of the market is going to depend on who shows up. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
What this fewl did is swoop in and buy the biggest cheap hotel in America for the simple fact of running it into the dirt because he knew Turkey Neck, a/k/a Mayor Gobbler, and The Shitty Commission would bow up and eventually step in, fall for his lack of improvements and buy the joint from him at a profit.
I'm not saying that someone doesn't need to wrangle the Sleazy E away from Sanjay Snuggle (because his towel looks so soft) but I just don't think our peeps in charge need to be the ones in charge of doing it because they've shown a great ineptitude at figgerin' out how to figger out this problem. In the werds of my wife, are you with me? I'm not sayin' we need to call in the Lone Ranger, George Washington or General Custer - well maybe that last one wasn't such a good example - but we need someone other than the peoples we've got or we'll end up getting curry in our cornhole again!
...I'm just sayin.....
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Throw a whole buch of shit out there and hope some of it sticks!
So, Dr. Merriwether's offer to by the American Eagle School of Law & Tire Center wasn't exercised because, even though he seemed to state he was exercizing it, he didn't exercise it. Then, out of nowhere - much like a Twinkie out of the dark - Dr. Manchicanti (correct spelling optional) swooped win with Tommy O and some as yet unnamed investors and purchased themselves a heavily indebteded school of law.
First thing on the agenda for the new owners? Accrediation? Nah. Get back some of the students you ran off with the mudslinging and the lawsuits? What fer? They bolted for fancy "accredited" lawschools and things called "jobs". Let'm go. Nope. Focus on a name change. According to the Republican Sun Always Rises, one potential name is something like the Alben Barkley School of Law. Not bad. It's an homage to our local big wig and it sounds a helluva a lot cooler than the actual American Justice School of Law. I've always thought that sounds like a show on A & E. Either Bill Curtis - host of the actual A & E show American Justice - should be the dean or the library should be named after him. Maybe he could be the voice on automated line you call and can never get a real person if you call out there to find out they still haven't been accredited. If you're going to be told you've wasted money on an education that will not let you take the bar exam in any state, at least it could come from an award winning journalist and television reporter.
Eitherwho, I think they should embrace the humor of the whole situation that has occurred until they are accredited. The Sally Struthers School of Law has a nice ring to it. Since Dr. Manchicanti is involved, the jingle is already in your head for "The Pain Management Law School of Paducah & Marion". If the ABA doesn't have a since of humor than who cares about that weenie accredidation? O.K., you do, but it would be fun to have some laughs in the process.
Werd on the street is them fewls can't even get student loan companies to lend ducketts to the peeps out there anymore. Have you ever heard of a student loan company not loaning a student money? Those fuckers will loan anyone money for anything because bankrupting that debt is harder than a teenage weenie at 6 a.m. Student Loan Xpress or Sally Mae will lend you dough to complete your master thesis at Barber's College entitled "Mullets: Were they all busines up front?" but they won't give you any money to further your education Tommy O style. Mmmmm. That should tell you all you need to know about the future of that joint. That would be like there not being a Waffle House at every exit in Tennessee. You get my point? They're everywhere for a fucking purpose people! Where was I? They is supposedly dropping tuition and loaning students money themselves via promissory notes until their alleged accredidation. I would make sure that my promise only applied if they got accredidited before I graduated.
What in the hell is a super delegate? Did this delegate get exposed to gamma rays and have the ability to bend shit with their mind? I get this idea of a polling station where you see all these normal people standing in line waiting to vote and then you see this one person mixed in wearing tights, a cape, boots and carrying like a paper, briefcase and a drinking coffee like it is no big deal. Nobody is freaking out though because its an election year and he's a super delegate and he's expected to be there.
The guy that created Dungeons and Dragons died the other day. I never played that game but I watched my galacticly intelligent cousin play it with his friends when I was a children. To know one's surprise this occurred in a basement. I always remember hearing the stories about how parents should keep their kids from playing the game because it was evil and it promoted devil worship or whatever but I simply thought it was "gay" - as was the saying of the times - or simply not cool. And by that I mean it required imigination and didn't have video graphics, chicks didn't dig it and, at the time I was exposed to it, I didn't dig chicks because, at 8, I merely believed in Transformers (The toys, not gender confused people), baseball and Nintendo. Thinking that a game involving cards, a board and dice made your kid evil takes more imagination than your evil kid ever had. That's a parent burying their inattentive head up their ass until their kid does something bad and then, when their cleaning up their room, blaiming it on the first weird thing they find. Dungeons and Dragons was craps for white nerds. That guy was a genius. He should be applauded and missed. He was a true innovator.
Toucan's has purty tasty fair. Eye dun tasted me the burger at lunch at the Yardbird Georgia for dinner. Boned up with onion rings with both. Service was the same cat on both angles. Nice guy. Oddly, lunch ambiance was lower than night time. At night, you almost need sunblock with a moderately high SPF due to the brightness of the lights. Price was fair. To be clear, service and food was good. It is strange to be in the Old Fungal Flower where I swilled so many a swill to now be sitting underneath plastic tropical vinery. You kind of feel like you're in Jimmy Buffett's outhouse. I do dig the joint though. I had deuce margaritas at dinner. Very tasty.
Well, it's almost 10:00 p.m. and I'm startin' to get scaret from all the snow that alleged to start fallin' hear shortly. I'll get back at ye. Palabra.
....I'm just sayin'......
First thing on the agenda for the new owners? Accrediation? Nah. Get back some of the students you ran off with the mudslinging and the lawsuits? What fer? They bolted for fancy "accredited" lawschools and things called "jobs". Let'm go. Nope. Focus on a name change. According to the Republican Sun Always Rises, one potential name is something like the Alben Barkley School of Law. Not bad. It's an homage to our local big wig and it sounds a helluva a lot cooler than the actual American Justice School of Law. I've always thought that sounds like a show on A & E. Either Bill Curtis - host of the actual A & E show American Justice - should be the dean or the library should be named after him. Maybe he could be the voice on automated line you call and can never get a real person if you call out there to find out they still haven't been accredited. If you're going to be told you've wasted money on an education that will not let you take the bar exam in any state, at least it could come from an award winning journalist and television reporter.
Eitherwho, I think they should embrace the humor of the whole situation that has occurred until they are accredited. The Sally Struthers School of Law has a nice ring to it. Since Dr. Manchicanti is involved, the jingle is already in your head for "The Pain Management Law School of Paducah & Marion". If the ABA doesn't have a since of humor than who cares about that weenie accredidation? O.K., you do, but it would be fun to have some laughs in the process.
Werd on the street is them fewls can't even get student loan companies to lend ducketts to the peeps out there anymore. Have you ever heard of a student loan company not loaning a student money? Those fuckers will loan anyone money for anything because bankrupting that debt is harder than a teenage weenie at 6 a.m. Student Loan Xpress or Sally Mae will lend you dough to complete your master thesis at Barber's College entitled "Mullets: Were they all busines up front?" but they won't give you any money to further your education Tommy O style. Mmmmm. That should tell you all you need to know about the future of that joint. That would be like there not being a Waffle House at every exit in Tennessee. You get my point? They're everywhere for a fucking purpose people! Where was I? They is supposedly dropping tuition and loaning students money themselves via promissory notes until their alleged accredidation. I would make sure that my promise only applied if they got accredidited before I graduated.
What in the hell is a super delegate? Did this delegate get exposed to gamma rays and have the ability to bend shit with their mind? I get this idea of a polling station where you see all these normal people standing in line waiting to vote and then you see this one person mixed in wearing tights, a cape, boots and carrying like a paper, briefcase and a drinking coffee like it is no big deal. Nobody is freaking out though because its an election year and he's a super delegate and he's expected to be there.
The guy that created Dungeons and Dragons died the other day. I never played that game but I watched my galacticly intelligent cousin play it with his friends when I was a children. To know one's surprise this occurred in a basement. I always remember hearing the stories about how parents should keep their kids from playing the game because it was evil and it promoted devil worship or whatever but I simply thought it was "gay" - as was the saying of the times - or simply not cool. And by that I mean it required imigination and didn't have video graphics, chicks didn't dig it and, at the time I was exposed to it, I didn't dig chicks because, at 8, I merely believed in Transformers (The toys, not gender confused people), baseball and Nintendo. Thinking that a game involving cards, a board and dice made your kid evil takes more imagination than your evil kid ever had. That's a parent burying their inattentive head up their ass until their kid does something bad and then, when their cleaning up their room, blaiming it on the first weird thing they find. Dungeons and Dragons was craps for white nerds. That guy was a genius. He should be applauded and missed. He was a true innovator.
Toucan's has purty tasty fair. Eye dun tasted me the burger at lunch at the Yardbird Georgia for dinner. Boned up with onion rings with both. Service was the same cat on both angles. Nice guy. Oddly, lunch ambiance was lower than night time. At night, you almost need sunblock with a moderately high SPF due to the brightness of the lights. Price was fair. To be clear, service and food was good. It is strange to be in the Old Fungal Flower where I swilled so many a swill to now be sitting underneath plastic tropical vinery. You kind of feel like you're in Jimmy Buffett's outhouse. I do dig the joint though. I had deuce margaritas at dinner. Very tasty.
Well, it's almost 10:00 p.m. and I'm startin' to get scaret from all the snow that alleged to start fallin' hear shortly. I'll get back at ye. Palabra.
....I'm just sayin'......
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