If you weren't from hear you probably haven't heard about the goofy local bullshit that you hear about when you live hear. Oh yeah, I not only thought that, but I typed it.
What I mint to say was, thank you to Tommy O. Just when you thought the saga that is the - cue the hopefully non-copyrighted music in your head - Pain Management Law School fiasco jamboree had come to some kind of non-denominational wholesale foreclosure type settlement (all those words just sounded fun thrown together), the freaking interim dean, some sort of fractional dean and an indentured servant or something all resign in protest over Tommy O's running of the joint and his pacific lack of infusion of cash. Interestingly enough, since Dr. Manchikanti purchased the majority of the stock, no one has complained of a lack of Lortabs or chronic back pain. According to the letters of resignation however, creditors have been complaining of a lack of cash being flogged there way. Allegedly, the water to the library was even cutoff.
Tommy O's prescription for this recent round of turmoil was a news conference in which he announced that a cat named Putt from TX would be coming up in June to possibly take over if the students wanted him to. This guy was going to continue to putz around in TX until June because he's dean or owner or both of a law school down there and has obligations until then. Also, the name of the school was changed to the Alben W. Barkley School of Law on the theory that the law school hasn't brought enough embarrassment to the City of Paducah so far and it might was well try to take down it's most famous and successful politician by naming it after him. I mean I don't think the City Commission would have fell for Tommy O naming it the Land Grab and Local Government Incentive Based School of Law. I fucking swear, those guys that Tommy O sued in federal court for this school have gotten shirts that said, "The City of Paducah gave me a bunch of land for nothing, I started a law school, got sued in federal court and all I got was this shirt" as a part of the settlement.
Let's recap. You're school is in complete disarray and the people you brought in to class up the joint when you took over quit a mere month or so into your tenure. They say bad things about you in their letters of resignation and email them to all the students that have hung around. You then ride in on your white horse to introduce the savior that will, bear with you, show up in 3 months. You tell them that you'll be getting the money necessary to run the school very soon and its all just paperwork issues with the loan provider out of New York. You then change the name of the school.
I didn't see the footage of the press conference or any pictures but did Tommy O have an IV or any noticeable tubes coming from him while he talked? Was Dr. Stuffed Pasta standing near him or did he ever appear to have recently injected or gassed him before he said any of this shit? I'm asking because these are the types of statements that are similar to those that I have made under the influence of prescription medications and/or after being brained.
I have no idea who the Putt guy or what his qualifications are. All I know is that (A) he is in TX; (B) he can't come til June; (C) this ain't TX; and (D) March is two months prior to June. So is it going to just continue to be pure uncut legal hell out there until June? I mean is this guy like the Wyatt Earp of law schools or something? I get the impression that it is like that movie Lean On Me out there except for law schools.
How in hell do you sue someone in federal court, successfully win that lawsuit and then take over a fucking law school without already having the necessary funds in place to run it? That's like begging a woman for sex and then, when she says yes, deciding to masturbate. You can't buy a car without either having all the cash up front or having financing pre-approved. I just can't believe that if children really are our future there are no forms for pre-approving financing when purchasing or taking over a school. Is Whiteny Houston a liar? Crazy crack addict sure, but liar? You can buy a car for as little as a dollar a day on the Southside but Tommy O can't come up with the forms or the $$$ to run the law school he successfully sued for ownership over in federal court? Something just don't jive with the whole "we're getting the money it's just been a paperwork issue" story.
Next plan to save the day, change the name! Maybe no one will remember that the school has had all these problems and that my interim staff just resigned and the school will suddenly become an esteemed center of higher education if I name it after a local political big wig! Can't you just see Jon Lovitz' character that told all the lies on SNL and always said "Yeah, that's the ticket" coming up with this one. I'm not even going to sit hear and say that I don't think the American Justice School of Law wasn't cheesier than hell, but I think I'd be focusing on a little more important things like paying the goddamn bills, making sure I had students to attend my school and getting accredited before I got all hung up in trying to latch onto to some fake sense of credibility by humping the leg of the ghost of a local legend.
And now for something seemingly completely different yet somewhat related.....the Big E still ain't fer sale because Mr. Singh ain't losin' enough money to make him sell! What? Mr. Singh and another Mr. Singh - who may or may know each other - gave an interview to a reporter for the Republican Sun Always Rises this week in which they essentially stated that were happy with owning the Big E. They knew the property was worth a lot of cash and that they had no interest in selling UNLESS the price was right. Well come on down City Commission.....
Singh has probably put some cash into restoring the vintage 70's porno deco style theme of the hotel but you can find most of that stuff for cheap on pornbay. And, as I've stated on numerous occassions before, who cares if he does or does not fix up that lego lookin' monstrosity? Sure it would be better for the City and everyone if he did, but, you know what, he owns it and can do whatever the hell he wants with it. I don't see anyone bitching at whoever owns that building downtown that looks like a three year old plastered it with tiles from a gay man's Scrabble game. The tile looking things are pastel colors and there is no business open in the building. There are all kinds of other buildings that look like hell downtown that have problems but the Shitty Commission isn't on the backs of those owners.
So who is the Big E valuable to? No one except the City of Paducah, quilters and the yearly influx of psychic fair attendees. Of course, they knew that before I even wrote it. Or did they know I wrote this before I ever knew that? Anyway...the hotel itself is not what is valuable, it's the land. Singh has them by the moutain oysters. I bet he got the idea to buy the joint by hearing about how riled up the Commission got when one of its own task forces recommended tearing the thing down. You remember that years ago? Turkey Neck and the Then Shitty Commission paid dough to some guy to study what to do with downtown and he suggested tearing down the joint to build a new hotel. When he suggested that at a meeting, Turkey Neck got all offended. Now, however many years later, that is what the City wants to do. I'll bet dinars to doughnuts that Singh saw that somehow and that's how he got involved. How else would he end up in Paducah?
In either event, the City will try to condemn the property, litigation will insue or they will pay him major duckets for it. In any event, Mr. Singh is going to get his $$$ for the biggest shitty hotel in America. Smart guy. Seems like he and Tommy O share the same theories on running a joint don't they? Maybe they could move the law school to the Big E. Each student could have their own personal classroom. It'd be the only law school in the country with a bar and all you could eat weekend Prime Rib Buffet. I like it.
....I'm just sayin.....
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1 comment:
That's a great idea...a law school with a buffet and line dancing. I like it!
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