The McCracken Physical Court should open up a soccer bank and just get it over with!

On Wednesday, there was a followup in the Republican Sun Always rises about an ongoing story where the McCracken County Physical Court has hemhawed around the idea of giving a company that makes fuel out dirt or something else biodegradeable - cue Dr. Evil clip -$1 million dollars. Apparrently, County Judge Executive VanLooneyberry (CJEVLB) has previously indicated he's all about shelling out the county's duckett's to a private company a la private bank style as long as the county gets some decent juice. Some of the other County Commissioners must have expressed some trepidation at getting into the loan sharking buitness because they asked the county attorney's office to issue an opinion on whether or not a county can shark loans.

Then, being ever trustful of the man who said to give Steve Doolittle his money and then sued Steve Doolittle for taking it, when Boaz's office said they thought the County could shark loans, another commissioner asked them to consult the hottest inexperienced elected official Kentucky has ever seen Attorney General Jack Conway. All of this caused enough concern that the Republican Sun Also Rises wrote an editorial stating the obvious that the Physical Court needed to stay out of the loan sharking buitness. The even funnier part about all of this is, allegedly, one of the men that would be getting and/or having control over this dough to be degrable to fuels has a felony drug record longer than the director's cut of Gahndi. Apparrently, the Physical Court's loan application ain't to in depth.

In today's edition of the local rag, CJEVLB is hemhawing around with the Physical Court on where to put a soccer complex. It's either going to put next to private sports plex or near I-24. The decision where to put this soccer complex has been being "decided on" since Bo and Hope were wearing diapers and being plotted against by a collicky Steffano in a maternity ward in Salem. It seems like the Physical Court or the Shitty Commission can't do anything without studying something, appointing a freaking task force or hiring a consultant to tell them what anyone with the proverbial lick of commonsense or gonards to make a tough call could do. In the time that it has taken them to decide where to put this soccer complex I'm sure that there are some kids that have forgotten that they even wanted to play soccer. It's a good thing we apparrently don't have that many hardcore soccer fans in Paducah because, if we did, a drunken gang of soccer houligans would have already bumrushed the doors of one of these goofy wee-girl meetin's and solved this problem.

To compromise, I think the Physical Court should just open a Soccer Bank Complex. It would be the best of both worlds and you could probably even find one consultant to head one task force to tell you how to do it.

....I'm just sayin.....