I'll retract that last remark

Awlright, so, in my disgust, I got all "WPSD'd out" and got a central fact wrong. A-Rod did not fly out to end the Yankees season. I figgered all this out while I was tossing and turning in bed last night unable to sleep. Potata (poe-tay-tuh) a/k/a Jorge Posada, struck out. He A-Rod'ed it up in this series, i.e. he had a great regular season and then couldn't hit the broadside of a barn with a base fiddle. That either means he couldn't get a hit or play a tune while smashing an instrument into a cow's home. I don't know. I've just heard that my whole career.

Can anyone take Annie Potts seriously? She' on this episode of Law & Order: Sexual Titillation and Innuendo Unit that I happened to have left on by mistake. Every time I see her I can't but help to think of her making out with Rick Moranis in Ghostbusters. She's playing a lawyer who apparently has Jedi mind control powers because the prosecutor bought into her goofyass "sexual addiction" theory and pre-trial diverted rape charges for her client who raped Sabrina the Teenage Witch and looked like a stunt double for one of The Hives. The guy was pastier than a preschooler in art class who skipped breakfast. Weird thang is, I use to go to class in between swilling it out in college with Annie Potts' nephew. He broke out that he was her nephew one time when we were in between classes - so to speak - and I didn't believe him. I mean people will say a lot of nutty stuff when they're drinking Wild Turkey. However, he quickly pulled out some photos and an assortment of Designing Women paraphernalia that made him either her nephew or a dude that needed to burst out of the closet. I wonder what happened to that cat?

Some political slogans I thunk up:

You'd be looney to vote for Rudy!
My Mama loves Obama!
John McCain: This country needs pissed off and crotchety.
Rudy Guiliani: He'll comb over the deficit and terrorism.
If you don't vote for Hillary, you'll be sillary!
That Rich Mormon Dude: The country can't handle more than one first lady.
Fred Thompson: Been there. Voted for Reagan.
John Edwards: Smart but too purty to be taken seriously.
Vote Nixon in '08: Death is not an excuse.

Could you vote for a guy with buck teeth and a comb-over that has to involve a quart of 40 weight oil and a wind machine? I mean, he is a Yankee fan and all, but I don't think that gives him a pass for being a Nazi.

John Edwards is like the hot chic with big boobs and a Looney Tunes voice that was top of your class but got no respect because of her physciality. Oh yeah, I lusted after her in vain for three years. Anyway, he's a smart dude with some decent theories but all anybody wants to talk about is how tasty he looks and how much cashola he has. He should show up for debates and interviews with no makeup, bedhead and in his p.j.'s and I bet peoples would start takin' his exit.

McCain can't get over being a geezer and mad all the time. He can't go 10 minits without mentioning Nam. I respect the guy immensely for what he did for our country and the sacrifice he made but, much like an N'Sync song in the '90's, I don't want to hear it constantly. I don't think we need a president modeled after Burgess Meredith's character in Rocky.

Fred Thompson is trying to convince everyone of one of two things and he doesn't care which one you pick, as long as you pick one. A. He's Ronald Reagan as evidenced by his acting credentials and geezerish running age. Or, B. He really is the president because you've seen him on t.v. before as the president. If you believe A., you've got some Reagan like innability to "recall" pertinent facts mysteriously when asked. If you buy into B., you probably think he is also a four star general because you saw him issuin' orders to Alec Baldwin on that air craft carrier a decade or two ago. A or B is not the answer.

Mitt Romney sounds like an yoga move with a dash of S & M. I'm sure you'd probably have to cry a mitt romney off in the shower in the dark. He's got more money than The Tabernacle and he's apparently believed in the opposite position of whatever it is he believes in now at some point in the not to distant past.

Everybody likes Obama but they all claim he can't pull it off because he ain't got no experience. How in the hell do you get "experience" being the president when you have to be elected president to get any experience? I think the experience argument is a nice way of avoiding saying that he could win but we don't know if this country is ready for a black president. I have no issues with it but I'm sure there are alot of more experienced minded honkeys out there that do.

Hillary is either hated or loved. No in betwixt. The consensus is that the majority of Americans had it good while Wild Bill was porkin' the help while in The White House. I think Wild Bill as the First Lady would be good stuff. I bet you would find him at the White House on weekends layin' around in his drawers, drinking swill and eatin' fast food. I don't knowed really what to make of Hillary. I don't hate her like most people. She's obviously smart. But I think a lot of people are concerned about a woman president. I could care less. I'm married and, therefore, a woman already runs what little life I have left after working and chasing my boy. And then you got my mother still callin' some shots.

I'm just sayin....