Houston, we have a Four Star Hotel and water park where the biggest shitty hotel in America once stood. Over.

The Big E is the greatest ongoing story Paducah has going right now. Bhupinder Singh has a tighter grip on the fiscal jubliees of this City via the Quilter's complainin' about his cheapass hotel that it is unbelievable. He's like a one man tribe to our City Commission's collective Custer. It's amazing.

But it keeps getting better. Mayor Paxton asked a guy from out of town to come in and buy the Big E in from Bhupy and tear it down and build a fancy new joint. Well, he bailed out when local cashmagnate Ronnie James ponied up the bullion to build a hotel because its a well known fact that Ronnie has always wanted to play Monopoly in real life. This cat from Springfield, Missouri didn't just bail out though. He called the local HQIC of Quilt Kingdom and axed if they would like to move the quilt off to Springfield, where he owns a hotel and convention center. Ain't our mayor great? In the name of economic development he brings in an out of town vulcher who not only does not accomplish getting the Big E out of the hands of the man who's so cheap his turbin is made from a towel stolen from his own hotel, but he then tries to steal the biggest tourist attraction and money making things this one-quilt town has to offer. Can you imagine, Quilt City USA 200 and however many miles away from Springfield Missouri where the Quilt Show is! Four more years! Fuck that. That fewl shouldn't get four more hours. I mean, what in the hell.

As of today's Republican Sun Always Rises, Bhupy is allegedly turning over control of the Sleazy E to something called Space Coast Hospitality. I guess the Sleazy E is going to be run by that guy who has the talk show that wears the black mask, cape and the white suit. Spaceghost or whatever plans to convert 195 rooms near the convention center to a Crowne Plaza Hotel. That's a fancy version of a Holiday Inn. The rest of the hotel, which will be about 260 rooms, will not be fancy enough to be called Crowne Plaza, so it will be called a regular old Holiday Inn, and it will have a "proposed" water park. The service will apparently suck so it won't be called Holiday Inn Express so keep that in mind people. Remember, I'm always looking out fer ye! I'm like Ralph Nader with a computer only a lot less worried about the Corvere. Although LeCars did worry me. Hey, is Nader that stuff that chics use to get rid of hair? Get back to me on that.

It apparently is going to take a company from outter space to turn the Sleazy E into something we can all be proud of. The E is so sleazy, that it has to be made into two hotels. Its so shitty, it can only be made into 195 really nice rooms and 260 nice rooms. What is the deal with that? They don't want to throw in a little extra alien dough and make it a total Crowne Plaza? Why make the Sleazy E into two different hotels owned by the same intergalactic company? I wonder if you look of Space Coast Hospitality on the Kentucky Secretary of State website if you'll find that they are a foreign corporation originally registered out of Mars. What is a "proposed" water park? The water park has asked another water park to marry it? The water park is in the planning stage but that's it? Either you're putting it or ye ain't? Slide or get off the water park for heaven's sake!

I'll close with this, "I'm so horny, the crack of dawn better keep an eye on me." Is that great or what? I love that line. Tom Waits said that. My dad threw it out the other day when we were talking about how funny he is. Listen to the song of his called Pasties and G-String. Step Right Up is also great and has some great lines. Read the liner notes to the disc that it is on. Good stuff. My Topamax has kicked in or I'd tell you the name of the album.

....I'm just sayin'.....