Super Happy Fun Time Giving Thanks Hour!

Well, I hope everyone had a super happy fun time Giving Thanks hour! today. Mine was funky fresh. It was dressed. Pressed. Ready to party. I don't even remember what old school 80's rap song I stole that from, but I still dig workin' it into my reptile whenever I get the opportunity.

Waffle House doesn't close to Give Thanks. No matter what time of day it is - either before the last float has blown off t.v. or just after you've come out of a triptiphan induced coma - you can go to The House and hear that British-teethed maiden scream your order out at the cook. I've always felt some kind of weird embarassment when my order is shouted out loud in front of all the other wafflees but, like takin' a leak in bar bathrooms, you get over it. I mean, I'm not sayin' there is some kind of waffle-wafflee privilege, or you should be sworn to syrup secrecy, but there should be a better way. My point is, you can scatter, smother, cover Giving Thanks if you wanna.

K-Mart actually has more than 3 people working. You can honestly go in, buy something and get out within an hour. It truly is something to be thankful for.

Wheel of Fortune is lame. I watched an episode with my family today while waiting to gobble ourselves silly and I decided that Pat Sayjack has the sense of humor of a Dostoevsky (spelling optional) novel. Vanna doesn't even have to turn the letters anymore. Their apparently iletters because all she has to do is touch them and show the letter. I guess she almost lost a finger or something when she had to actually turn them and the show - fearing that no one else could replace her - got Apple to come up with some touch screen technology to save the day. There was a chic on the show today named Archana (Arch-na). As in, if you're scared of spiders, you suffer from archanaphobia. As in, have you ever been up in the St. Louis Archana?

WPSD has a segment where they interview local doctors and ask them "what's goin' around?". The doctors basically say what types of illnesses they are seeing in their patients. I found this funny. I asked a lady doctor I know. I said, "What's goin' around?" She said, "a whole bunch of uninsured gall bladders." I thought it'd be funny to have that segment for other professions. Hey, Kountry Kastle waitress, what's goin' around the Kastle? "Cold Busch Lite, lyin' and divorce." Hey, criminal defense lawyer, what's goin' around the courthouse? "I'm seein' a lot of burglaries with an intermittent robbery. It looks like controlled substance possession is going to rise in the next couple of days and there's a chance that, with all the holiday travelers, they're be in increase in speeding tickets and expired registrations." Hey, postal worker, what's goin' around the post office? "A lot of bitchin' about the price of stamps and requests for Elvis stamps that we sold out of eight years ago." Hey mall worker, what's going around the mall on Black Friday? "A lot of idiots and pushing and shoving and one or two births in the check out lines."

I saw people lining up this afternoon with tents and shit to camp outside of Best Buy. I thought freaking Phish was playing there or something by the look of the crowd. I almost cruised through the parking lot to see if I could get my dog a hemp collar, get some homemade root beer and "herbal" cookies. They should call it Black Fridaystock. Best Buyaroo would be kewl.

Awlright. That's all I've got at this juncture. I hope everybody had a great Happy Super Fun Time Excellent Giving Thanks Hour!

I'm just sayin......